Ultimatums

My mother is in town.
For most of us, that would be followed by an, "enough said"...

She is visiting from Minnesota where she retired with husband #3 and her now 22 month old baby. The funny thing about her living in Minnesota is that between the two of them they knew exactly 0 people when they moved there, have 0 family members out there and unlike normal people who retire at the beach they chose to retire on a lake surrounded by wilderness.

She has been there about 2 years, I have yet to visit but there is a trip planned in just a couple weeks that my boyfriend and I are taking together.

One tidbit piece of info you should know about my mother being in town is that she came in her 40ft RV. Yes, picture a tour bus driven by two Sr. Citizens and a toddler.
I have to admit it's pretty comical sight to see but it works for them sooo who am I to judge...right?

Anyways, Mom & Co. leave tomorrow to head back to MN after being on the East Coast since the end of April. I went to their Campsite tonight (did I really just type that?) to say my goodbyes, not realizing I was about to be ambushed.

Now, remember back at the beginning of the story I told you that my mom is on husband #3...keep that in mind as I unveil what happens next...

My boyfriend and I have been dating for exactly 1 year, 5 months and 3 days. Yes, we talk engagement and houses and weddings and kids and IDEALLY I would LOVE to get engaged by the end of 2010 (and he knows that). This timeline would be the 2 year mark for us and I think a great point in a relationship to make that jump to the next step especially since he will be just 2 months shy of his 30th birthday and I will almost be 28. We are at a good point in our relationship. We are best friends, we love eachother, we make eachother laugh daily, we are the first person the other calls to celebrate a success, to vent, to cry (well more me crying to him but you get my drift). We are on the same page about religion AND politics :) we both love country music, he is a good singer I am a good dancer. We both are ridiculously good looking :)....I could go on and on.

My mom has met my boyfriend a total of 3 times?? Maybe? She has spent less than 10hrs total and I really only try to tell her the good things when we talk...Rule of Thumb, don't ever tell your Mother details of fights or bickers you have with your significant other because though you will forgive and forget and move on, your mother never will.

So, my mom has spent maybe 10hrs with the Love of my life and she actually had the audacity to put me on the spot tonight and asked when we were getting engaged then proceeded to ask if I thought he really was committed to the relationship and suggested that maybe I should take a break to see if he misses me and comes running with a ring. I was told that she didn't notice a big difference from when she saw us a year ago, that he isn't very affectionate, that she thinks he likes to make jokes at my expense and that she just doesn't want me to get too emotionally attached (too late) as she thinks I may be more invested in the relationship that he is.

I have to say I was hurt, and to be quite honest it started putting thoughts into my head that I really don't want there. Sure I have thought some of the things she was saying I am not going to lie. My boyfriend is not super lovey dovey but he does the lovey dovey when I least expect it and when he does my heart melts. Just today he kissed my head for no reason and held me while I napped for two hours despite the entire right side of his body falling asleep and going numb. We have come a long way in our relationship. I am his first real, long term, say "I Love You" girlfriend. I am the first girl he ever introduced to his family. I honestly can't imagine my life without him and would be heartbroken if I lost him in any way.

I called my boyfriend on the way home and told him everything. Not sure if that was a good move or bad. He didn't say much. He did ask if I thought he would get the third degree when we are in MN in just a couple weeks. He ended the call by saying he loved me.

I am not one of those ultimatum types. I don't want to force someone who "likes it to put a ring on it". I don't want to ever be resented, I don't want to be left at the altar and if I have anything to do with it I don't want to ever go through a divorce.
I watched my parents go through a nasty divorce for almost 12 years. I want to find and marry the real deal. I would like to think that that I've found the real deal.