Relationship Woes...Not Mine.

Over the Memorial Day Weekend I learned that my dear college roommate (whose wedding I was one of 16 bridesmaids) was going to be traveling through my area on her way home from a family reunion. She lives out of state and I actually hadn't seen her SINCE the western themed nuptials two years ago. We were able to coordinate a dinner as she would be driving right past my exit and I was ecstatic that we would once again be reunited!

While shes been married for two years and is expecting her first child, I didn't consider the fact that she may not be the same girl I had seen just 24 months earlier. I filled my boyfriend in all afternoon telling him some of my crazy college memories that included my loud, outgoing, hysterically boisterous bestie. How disappointed was I when I realized just how much 24 months of marriage and 7 months of preggersness changes one.

After saying our goodbyes, I left feeling very disappointed at how little we had in common any more. She told us in detail over our dinner that her and her husband of just two years had been seeing a counselor on a regular basis, her husband sitting right next to her as she shared these intimate details. She shared how she hates being pregnant, she hates her body right now, she hates how little money they have and on and on and on she went....needless to say it wasnt a fun conversation nor was it encouraging as a couple on the verge of possibly getting engaged, looking forward to getting married and having children. It quickly turned into a very one sided conversation, more of a venting session leaving us quite sullen and depressed.

Lately there have been a number of couples in our lives whose marriages and relationships just aren't working out. Both my boyfriend and I are products of parents who have cheated. My best friend just went through a similar situation with her parents and even more lately my friends with just a year or two of marriage under their belts are contemplating divorce.

It is discouraging and terrifying to be headed towards the same venture wondering what the fate of our relationship holds. I do feel that by witnessing and experiencing first hand the pain of watching a family, especially your own, break up, that we have forced ourselves to set our bar a little higher. We have decided to take these painful experiences and learn from them in hopes of avoiding making similar mistakes as we continue on in our own relationship.